Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
