I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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