I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
