Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
