It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's blow job season.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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