Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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