First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
