Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize