i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
