some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
