I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
