I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
