i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
