it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
