He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
