mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
