Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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