Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize