fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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