i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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