You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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