the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
