is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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