am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize