May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
