? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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