I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize