O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
