i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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