Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
