stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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