you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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