Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
