road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
