due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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