that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
