He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
