I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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