I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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