Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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