I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
