Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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