she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
