I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we're so committed to being not committed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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