just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize