OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
