Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
