have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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