Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
