Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
