Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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