i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
