So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
