My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
