I like to think it a success when the cops are called
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
operation harelip BJ is a go
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
