I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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