PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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