I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
