I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
