Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
