You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
