scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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