Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
