at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
