She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
