Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we should paint friendship bongs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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