New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
