you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize