i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's paint friendship bongs
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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