i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
