If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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