At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
